Evangelical Anxiety
Evangelical Anxiety
Why I think Sunday is truly the most segregated week of them all. And why it shouldn’t be.
I’ll be straight up with you, I struggle with mental illness big time. People may see it as me being chiflado, but like that one song says, “everybody has bad days.” You see I sometimes feel like Adrian Monk’s brother. I enjoy the arts and reading, but what I really enjoy is doing it in my own home with my puppy.
It’s also at this point that I feel very proud, and my dad called me out on it. Here I was at Jason’s Deli last night excitedly telling my dad about my day. He brought up a concern. He was right. I got defensive. It ended in tears. They were mine.
Some may say I have been blessed with a gift. I call it a curse of remembering every slight thing I do wrong in life. I’m harder than my self than most but through therapy, God, and lots of coffee, I’ve forgiven myself.
It brings me to the title. It’s a book by Charles Marsh about his journey of faith and mental health.
It’s like reading a book on my life so I’d much rather not if I’m honest.
But it also reminds me of my own rose-colored prejudices. I see someone from I know and still think of them as I did in high school. Meanwhile, in life, they’ve succeeded.
It took me a long time to realize what they realized. Stubborn. Stubborn. Me.
It brings me back to community. I like to fancy myself as a runner. Although, I’m not quite a runner like I used to be. I see every weekend, people from the church that Mitt Romney is a part of there on the river while I run. I see them opening up their gym.
Btw, church league here in San Angelo used to be a big deal. If you think college athletics nil was bad, the deals to get the best players back then was even worse.
Recently I asked my dad why it seemed for the most part, our immediate family found spouses in cultures other than our own. There wasn’t really an answer other than the church community being usually one race. My parents, when raising us, exposed us to multiple different things from church to musicals to going to San Antonio for TCDA. I wanted to travel. I fell in love with the UK. I want to feel what it feels like Scotland feels like not just read about Balmoral.
Why do I say this? Because I’m worried.
I’m worried that the Sunday is still the most segregated day of the week. I’m worried that most people put politics ahead of their community on both sides.
While it is our duty to be good citizens, it is also our duty to love others even if they may not look like us, share our politics, or even like us.
If there is a kingdom of God, I sure hope there are not separate areas or separate spaces for where politics happens. In the Old Testament, God used leaders to teach our country a lesson. So yes, He can use a Trump. But he also can use a Biden. Don’t use your perspective to color justify your beliefs.
What does that mean? I’m not sure. All I know is that like it makes me anxious and sad and very worried for our country.
#longread #segregation #minorityowned #evangelicalanxiety #holypost