Manti Te’o, Shame, and the Power Forgiving Yourself

Plus, mailbag Monday where I give out advice just like "Dear Abby"

Alliteration Week. Remember any money I get from this newsletter goes to Uvalde Moving Forward Fund. If you’re interested in investing in this publication, hit me up. I’d love to talk. Like way too much. Ok, now I’m overseeing. Classic Sagittarius and classic enneagram 4.

Have you ever felt shame or felt regret for something you’ve done?

I have. It’s not fun. Sometimes, after my therapy sessions, I’m like “oh man, I feel bad for my counselor.” I wonder if they talk about me to their significant others.

Tangentially, but has there ever been a show where the protagonist is a therapist? I mean, Hollywood has definitely over used the main character sees a therapist for most of its shows or movies. I see it as a lazy way of telling the story, but alas. I still love the sopranos, monk, and every show like that. It’s like in a documentary where they have either the correspondent or journalist narrate the story instead of letting the viewer decide for themself. It’s a visual medium! It’s why I like the 30 for 30 on the bronco chase. They used footage from that day to tell the story.

Back to my point: shame can be a powerful tool. Last year, FX produced a limited series on Monica Lewinsky. Now, I consider this a family friendly newsletter. So, if you’re young enough to not know who that is, or if you just know her by her genuinely funny tweets, go look her up.

Lewinsky, who was a teen when her life changed forever, went through something absolutely awful. I can’t imagine that happening to me.

In my case, I was having nervous breakdowns daily. I was given an opportunity to work at a national news network as a fellow. I got to see famous people every day. I knew that this getting this job must be a God thing. I couldn’t let M. Noonan down who gave me this opportunity. Meanwhile, I was living alone without community, trying to prove to the world that I could do that. In a city with millions of people, I was incredibly lonely.

Were there other factors? Absolutely! There was a global pandemic. People were/are struggling themselves. I made a lot of self-inflicted mistakes that I think about way too much. I did not ask for help. Stubborn me.

Phil Vischer is a content creator most known as the guy who created that show about talking vegetables.

When I was down, I liked to listen to his story. He started this company that grew like wildfire. It was funny and it was Christian: two things that usually don’t go together. (Sorry, dad). He had plans to be the Christian Walt Disney, but he lost sight of who he was and what was his mission.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve felt the same. It’s a weird feeling not having your contract renewed. It was the right decision by the company on 66th street, but it’s a strange feeling watching something live happen and see people you know cover something big and you’re on the outside looking in. I say that as someone who was still on the list serv on the mouse network when the election happened and our guy named George was on the scene for four days straight. It happened again on a the sixth day of January.

It’s a funny thing, regret is. After getting this position, it felt like my entire family watched abc switching from Fox News. I’d like to tell my dad who I saw in the cafeteria that today to telling them which people I liked on screen. I’m looking at you CV, JQ, DM, and RR. I’ve told myself that if I ever made it on air with my face made for radio and voice for silent films, I would genuinely treat the little people well

(by little people I mean PAs and such, although you should treat those people with respect.

When I was four years old at a Luby’s, I was too little to carry my own tray, they had a worker carry it for me. This person was shorter than me and an adult. I regret to admit that I was scared about that. Again, I was four. Please give me a break.)

But now, my dad watches ABC breaking coverage of the Jan. 6 hearings. I’ve told them about each person and how David Muir’s hair should be in the hall of fame or how Matt Gutman is so great but short with people. I mean he was literally shorter. He was super nice. He watches Pierre Thomas and Jon Karl do jobs that I wished I had. You know what, I still watch with him because I still love that brand for giving me a shot. Even though it’s changed, there are still so many good people there. Well, except for maybe a few people who weren’t team players. You know we talked about you…

I say all of this to tell you that I watched the Manti Te’o documentary. First, I think I could feel sympathy for everyone in some small way, but leaving that aside, I obviously felt some sort of way for Manti. How he was the sacrificial lamb. There’s a blog post about the ethics of what the news organization did and hindsight is 20/20 but sometimes EQ is more important than IQ.

It’s why I’m still shaken by Uvalde. This happened right near me. These people looked liked me. And yet it seemed like both sides gathered up to do the whole gun charade when a community was and is hurting. It’s why every dollar I’m getting from this free publication is going to the official Uvalde moving forward fund.

Oh, I almost forgot, a therapist asked Manti if he ever forgave himself. He questioned why she asked that. And then it dawned on him.

I’m not sure I’m at the place to forgive myself for my personal and professional failures quite yet. My poor therapist.

• To that former Network exec who I saw sign up for my list. I’m sorry I never reached out to you to check in on you. I was too little on the org chart plus I thought why would you’d want to hear from me. We met only briefly at a lunch set up for the fellows, but I still remember you talking about tik tok with your children. I still don’t get that app.

• To the guy holding up the John 3:16 sign all day: good for you but make sure you hydrate. This is Texas, after all.

• To the server who seemed a little frazzled. It’s okay. I’m sorry I could only tip 20%. I’m a single (dog) dad that’s an unemployed freelance writer.

• To the Texas longhorns football team: please don’t let me down

• To the Dallas cowboys: please stop making me embarrassed to be a fan

• To Manu: it’s your week. I wish I had the money to go to Springfield, Mass. to cover your induction

• To Wally and Coco: can you please give me some space. I love y’all but you are a lab and a Jack Russell terrier. I’m on a twin bed. I do want to sleep some you know…

Mail bag Monday

Where I play the role of Abby from Dear Abby. These q + a’s might be fake or might not.

Do you know of anyone who’s hiring? - Liz from Wyoming

If I did, then I would’ve used it for myself.

What do I do if there is another ANOTHER person who says I’m their dad? - Herschel from GA

Umm, I’m not qualified to answer this.

Why are all of my staff quitting?  - Kamala from California

Well, how are you treating them?

Why is no one taking pics of me clearing brush?

- George from Crawford, TX

Well maybe because you left office. Btw, how much would it cost to do a painting of me. You can paint me like a French do. just kidding.

Why do people in Lubbock still hate me?

-Chris B. From Austin

Because they are the little brother and you left for the flagship, that’s why.

Will they ever find out I’m a fraud? - Ryan from San Angelo

Yes, yes they will. And that’s okay. Actually it might be the best thing for you even though it will be the hardest thing.

Songs of the Day