Publisher’s note: this post was written and edited without my permission. But since, they promised to be the best of boys and girls today, I let them publish.

Wally: Hello,

it is me, Wally, not Wall-e. You can follow me at @wallywhernandez on doggie insta. I am my human’s favorite dog and leader of the dog pack in the household.

Coco: Now wait, a minute, no you aren’t. You may be older, but I’m bigger and stronger than you. Also, I’m pretty sure Ryan loves me more, because if he loved you enough, he wouldn’t feel the need to get me.

Wally: Ouch, sis. You not only tackle me with your size, but now your words? It’s okay. I’m allowed on the couch. And you aren’t. Plus, you weren’t there at obedience class when I was the goodest boy. Side note, why are German Shepherds so aggressive? They do know the Second World War is over, and they know who won, right?

Coco: You are such a nerd, big bro. I’m not a school person. I’m too pretty for that. In fact, I think I’m still young enough to be leo’s next girlfriend. Leo is the dog down the street. He’s older, but never dates a puppy over one. I think he was named after some actor in a movie about a boat sinking a long time ago.

Wally: Ha. If you knew anything, you’d know how funny your last statement was. There was room on the raft for Jack. By the way, wasn’t your name Little Anne or Reba? Get a name, much?

Coco: you’re one to talk. I’ve heard the humans call you Wallace when you get in trouble. I was told I was named after one great film.

Wally: you were named because you’re un poco loco and because of your coat color! they tried to rename me Wolfgang Wally. I’m not a wolf and I’m not part of a gang. If I was, it’d be the Jets or the Sharks. Also, why does he tell us that it hurts him more than it hurts us when he has to put us in the crate when we do something wrong? He’s such a nerd when he comes to punishing us.

Coco: whatever big bro. The word is cringe. Have you seen what he tries to wear when he walks us outside? I did him a favor by eating up those new balances. Want to go bother our hooman again?

Wally: you know what the answer is.